Shay's Blog :]: A rough time

One of the most helpless feelings (I personally think) you can feel is when you have a loved one who is in a rough spot. In other words, ill.

My grandma is in the hospital and it's pretty rough.

It's been a domino effect of things going wrong since she went to the emergency room early Thursday morning. BUT, she has also been improving slowly since then as well.

It's hard for anyone to see someone that they love with tubes in them and hooked up to all kinds of machines. It's also hard for me to connect with my family. I don't do well with sad situations. I disconnect myself and I like to be alone to deal with sad situations. I don't like to cry or hug anyone. I don't like to be sad in front of anyone. I'm just not good at being sympathetic to other people, even family, when they are crying. I feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Getting off the emotional side of things, I'm going to brag a bit about her (my grandma).

Her name is Joyce and she is my step-moms, step-mom. Still following?

I met her whenever I was 3 years old. Back when my dad and my step-mom met.

My parents have been married for 19 years now. (WHOA!)

Sooo, she's been in my life for quite some time now.

This woman has included me in on every holiday. Christmas, birthday, you name it.

She has officially earned the title as my grandmother.
She is technically my step-step-grandma?

But none of that matters.

She has always been there for me.

She has NEVER once treated me as anything but her own grand daughter. And for that, I am so very grateful.

She is spunky, funny, kind, compassionate, crude but HILARIOUS, she is sweet, loving and dependable.

I think I spent the most time with her whenever I was pregnant with Gavin. I lived right up the road from her so it was easy for me to just hop in the car and drive 3-4 minutes to her house.

I would spend hours upon hours at her house just talking about everything and anything. She's always good company and a person that I adore being around.

She's wonderful. Plain and simple.

She's the best.

It breaks my heart to see her in such a rough place and I want nothing more than for her to get well and pull through all of this.

I'm not religious. I don't believe in a god or prayers.

But I don't think this is it for her. I just don't. I feel like she will pull through all of this. I think this is just a (big) rough bump in the road in her life.

I hope will all my might that my gut feeling proves me right.

Did I mention she is great at quilting?!?

This is the quilt that she helped me make for Gavin while I was pregnant.

She did most of it (I had no clue what it took to make a quilt) so I can't take too much credit.