Friday, July 27, 2012

Enjoying life

Recently I've been babysitting kids just a couple days out of the week.
One day I watch a 2 year old girl, another day I watch an 18 month old girl and her 5 month old brother.
And I LOVE IT.
I really love the social interaction it brings Gavin. 
He totally enjoys having someone else his age to hang out with! 
He observes them closely and though they may not play together per say, they play along side each other very well. 
Gavin, as well as the two girls, are all just wonderful toddlers. They are well behaved and they are a joy to be around.  
Yesterday Gavin and the 2 year old girl filled my house with laughter and the pitter-patter of their feet. They had this game of their own going on. They would run to the end of the hallway, stop at the door, turn around and run back into the living room. They used the couch as bumper to stop themselves, causing them to fall down on their butts. Then one after the other they would get back up and do it all over again. They thought this was absolutely hilarious and tons of fun. They must have done it 20 times in a row before they finally wore themselves out. It was so adorable to watch them and very heartwarming for me to see my baby boy having so much fun.
Today when the other little girl was here, they took turns handing over the bowl of cheerios so they could both have some (it didn't take long for the snatching it from the other child happened, but it was cute while it lasted). It's so funny to watch them interact with each other too. Gavin doesn't really say very many words yet and what he does say, isn't used in context aside from specifically addressing me as mom and David as dad. He knows what you say to him most of the time though. Keep in mind, he is still only 14 months old. He's getting there. But anyway, the little girl (18mos) talks a lot. She says a lot of words and knows how to use them in context. And when she talks to Gavin, he just stares at her, observing her and I can only imagine his little brain working to try and figure out just what the heck she is even saying. She doesn't understand that he isn't on the same page as her so she just looks at him. His response usually consists of his own little baby babble. But it's all very cute, none the less.They are very entertaining to watch. 
Toddlers, I tell ya! 
Who needs TV?
 HA!

It makes me so overjoyed to see my baby boy (he'll always be referred to as a baby if I have anything to say about it) learning, laughing and growing up. He's a happy little guy and that's all I could ever want for him. 

I've come to realize JUST HOW MUCH I love to babysit other kids. I LOVE IT. I love the company it brings to both Gavin and I. 
I love the responsibility as well as the challenge. 
I really want to have more children.
Definitely not right now, but not too far from now either. 
I want us to be better off than we are right now before we add to our family. I want it to be a comfortable addition. One that we are ready for.
But I'll tell ya, I cannot wait for the day!

I love being a mom. More than (literally) anything else in this world. I feel like I was never really living life to the fullest before I had Gavin. I didn't have a purpose other than the obligations of taking care of myself. 
I didn't appreciate or embrace life as whole, until I had Gavin. He is my purpose, my motivation, my happiness, my love, my reason, my will to do all that I can to be the best person I can be for him. 
He is my everything. 
His is my life. 
Nothing else matters except his happiness and wellness. 
Everything that I do, I do in his benefit.
He deserves the world and I do everything I can to give that to him.

I feel like having other kids his age around benefits him so much.
I also feel like I benefit too. It makes me happy to have them here. 
I get to be around an adorable, smiley little baby whom I adore. Which is great since I'm not yet ready to have another one of my own.

It's a great experience and I feel very lucky to be given the opportunity.  
I feel really honored that I get to babysit them. It's always a wonderful feeling when someone else trusts you with their child(ren). It's a big job and it's very, very important. Not one to be taken lightly.
Gavin doesn't get babysat very often at all and when he is, it's only by family. 

That's your life you're putting into someone else's hands. You have to trust that if it comes down to it, they will put your child's life first. They have to be kept safe and protected in any given situation that could occur. 
Maybe not everyone views it as harshly as I do. But I don't take to the subject lightly.

Overprotective? Absolutely! Can you blame me? I don't blame myself one bit.

I could go on and on about the topic all day but I won't do that. 
I think I've voiced my views and opinions on the subject enough for one blog.
I'm not even sure if it all makes sense together. 
My hands are doing all the typing while I'm desperately trying to keep my brain from falling asleep over here.
Why I stay up so late is beyond  me. It's pointless, really.
Well, maybe not pointless. 
My house is silent. David and Gavin are both asleep. 
I get to sit on the couch, watch my recorded TV shows, and blog.
All by myself. This is ME time. 
I can actually hear my own thoughts and relax.
Some times I just get a little bit carried away with the whole 'time' factor and I push it so far that I'm falling asleep on myself. 

So now that, that's happening I'm going to go ahead and go to bed.
Good night & thanks for reading!




Tuesday, July 24, 2012

On this Tuesday

I can't say it was a regular ol' day, because no day is the same when you have a very busy, wiggly, noisy 1 year old running around your house. HA! 
Gavin is such a funny little guy. 
His new thing now is he picks up his toy phones and puts them to his ear (er, well, sometimes his forehead, his neck or the top of his head... he has the right idea, anyway) and he says, ''Dad?! Hi dad! Dada?''.
He never fails to amaze me with how fast he learns new things. I could watch him forever.
Plus, he's adorable.

 I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't want to stare at that face all day everyday?!?

This picture has made it into my TOP FAVORITE pictures that I have of him.
It totally shows his silly personality.

Today we hung out together, just Gavin and I.
I always look forward to having the day to spend with JUST him. 
I love that I get to spend all of my time with my son. 
There's no where else in the world that I would rather be!
It's incredible. And I certainly don't take it for granted!
I have an outstanding boyfriend who takes care of our family. 
He's just wonderful.
I could go on forever. But, I won't.
All in all. I'm a very, very lucky and very, very, very happy girl.

I don't have much else to write for tonight.
Update on my grandma: She's doing ok. She's not declining.
It's all just a waiting game still.
We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Monday, July 23, 2012

A rough time

One of the most helpless feelings (I personally think) you can feel is when you have a loved one who is in a rough spot. In other words, ill.
My grandma is in the hospital and it's pretty rough.
It's been a domino effect of things going wrong since she went to the emergency room early Thursday morning. BUT, she has also been improving slowly since then as well. 

It's hard for anyone to see someone that they love with tubes in them and hooked up to all kinds of machines. It's also hard for me to connect with my family. I don't do well with sad situations. I disconnect myself and I like to be alone to deal with sad situations. I don't like to cry or hug anyone. I don't like to be sad in front of anyone. I'm just not good at being sympathetic to other people, even family, when they are crying. I feel awkward and uncomfortable.

Getting off the emotional side of things, I'm going to brag a bit about her (my grandma).
Her name is Joyce and she is my step-moms, step-mom. Still following? 
I met her whenever I was 3 years old. Back when my dad and my step-mom met.
My parents have been married for 19 years now. (WHOA!)
Sooo, she's been in my life for quite some time now.
This woman has included me in on every holiday. Christmas, birthday, you name it.
She has officially earned the title as my grandmother.
She is technically my step-step-grandma?
But none of that matters. 
She has always been there for me. 
She has NEVER once treated me as anything but her own grand daughter. And for that, I am so very grateful. 
She is spunky, funny, kind, compassionate, crude but HILARIOUS, she is sweet, loving and dependable.

I think I spent the most time with her whenever I was pregnant with Gavin. I lived right up the road from her so it was easy for me to just hop in the car and drive 3-4 minutes to her house. 
I would spend hours upon hours at her house just talking about everything and anything. She's always good company and a person that I adore being around.

She's wonderful. Plain and simple. 
She's the best. 

It breaks my heart to see her in such a rough place and I want nothing more than for her to get well and pull through all of this. 

I'm not religious. I don't believe in a god or prayers. 
But I don't think this is it for her. I just don't. I feel like she will pull through all of this. I think this is just a (big) rough bump in the road in her life.
I hope will all my might that my gut feeling proves me right.

 Did I mention she is great at quilting?!?
This is the quilt that she helped me make for Gavin while I was pregnant. 
She did most of it (I had no clue what it took to make a quilt) so I can't take too much credit.
How cute, right?!?!!! The whole front of it.

The back side
Close up of one of the blocks